No Mo’ Whinin’ Puhleez

That Cahlnization Sosahhty whinah was skulkin round here gin,
upsettin the slaves with his mealy mouf flattuhry uv’em, tryin
the patience o’ the good men an wimmin what keep ouah nation safe
from the ovahseas monichies what always schemin t’incite our dahkies
t’riot.

Why the gennuhmen put up with this gadflah I cannot uhmagine. Always
wheezin ’bout the unfortunate this and the importune that. There’s
nuffin unfortunate or importune about gittin a slave man to heave
his back for sumfin Godly instedda thuh depravity to which his
nature leans him, nor ’bout spreadin out a salty sweet slave wummin
to give her a preview o’ heaven whar she won’ ha’ got to be slouch
down in her wumminly receptifity by a black man’s unrefahhhnmin. In
eithah case we grace them tuh develop a tase for wha’s above ’em, but
dohn’ mock ’em bah sujestin they can as reach what lahhs beyon ’em.

Ever once in a while you see dat glimmah o’ recunnishin in dair dull
pool ahhs wen ya sees tah strike one a hahd smack and wif Chrahhst’s
rahht purpose behaan yo hann, that loss o’ feah replace by a rahht shimmah o’
troo appreeshyishn. That makes the perfec’ momen tuh begin preachin to ’em
from the most eezay t’unnerstan vahses o’ the howly book what speaks tuh
the damned, an them as be the progeny o’ Ham.

Heah in Georgia we unnerstan the slave mahhnd. We ain’t got no
olusions like day ennahtain up theah in Vuhginny oah Marrylann oah
even Tennysee. Right proud o’ our own hahh court t’ other day comin
clear with a clarifyin refusal tuh let them Cahlnization Sosahhty swindlahs
convert on theah deathbed browbeatin of a man who did right by
him slaves and were it not for them meddlahs woulda done right by his wahhf
and his chillun too an leff owll an I do mean owll o’ him propuhty to ’em
instedda sahnin some foolhardy dockamin what give owll uv’em down to thuh
las’ bitch an swaddlah to the Cahlnization Sosahhty what puffin’ on ’bout
they be resettlin ’em back to Africa. What good would sech a turn to ’em do,
I wundah, but to sen ’em owll back tuh certain dammminuhnuhnayshin?

I speak of coahs uv the recently decided case of the Americuhn Cahlnization
Sosahhty v Gartrell, in which the rahhht justice Lumpkin declayahhd foah the
yoonanimous coaht the will of one Francis Gideon invalid and went further to
liff the veil off duh cowahdly faces o’ the Cahlnization Sosahhty minyuns.
They justices opahnned, and rahhttly so, that the Cahlnization Sosahhty ilk
be the worst kind o’ slavery hatah, worse than the fire-eatin secessionist
ablishnists from outta yon Bosstin an Fillydelfy, ‘cuz the Cahlnizationists
preten t’agree with jus ’bout owll we know t’ be troo o’ the goodness
o’ the pecoohlyah institooshin for the slaves and for the people alike.
They preten’ tuh say that the slave trade is a sin but that slaveownin can
be practice widout sin (if one coddles one’s slaves like they wuz prize pigs
oah somefin) an that slaveownin is temptayshun tuh sin for the weak and no
asset to the strong in the ahhhs o God a’mahhty. I beg tuh diffah, but we ahh
democratic too a fault down heah in Georgia, and we believe in lettin’ a man
have his difference uv uhpinion, even on ecclesiasticah mattahs, unlike the
Bostonyuns do. The Cahlnizashinist’s treacheries ahh not in his wrong beliefs
tho wrong they be, but in his delibrut lahhs bahh which he confooz an
torment and puhswaid good slaveownin Chrisschun men an wimmin
tuh believe God has a plan for the dahkies some place other than
undah the correctin han of a churchgoin man an ownah.

Wun day I hope to own a slave oah two mahseff. T’would be easiah to get
me a wahhf then, but I may have to get me the wahhf fust, though not puhhaps
the sorta wahhf I could git if’n I had me a slave fust. Good anuff tuh meet mah
needs, though, as I am a humble man. I tip mahh hat to any man what
manage bettah, but I am not one to cuvvit anothah man’s wahhf noah
envy him his hahhd eahned prahpuhtee.